Swee' Caroloine.

And here we are. Track 10 of Loading. The curtain call. The final boss of being a working musician. The damned inevitable "Swee' Caroloine".

So I have a love/hate relationship with pub gigs. It's where the money is. It's where my social life is. It's where I hone my craft. But I'm a sensitive creative, and if I walk into one and it's got a carpet, I know EXACTLY how the night's gonna go!

There's a specific species you meet. Tells you his entire life story before his name. Calls your colourful clothes 'woke'. Convinced he's the de-facto guvnor even though he's only not barred cos he spends so much drinking until he can't see. Treating working musicians like hostages, and the negotiation is... THAT song.

And that song's a trojan horse. A vaguely familiar plod that suddenly activates something primal about 30 seconds in, turning passive spectators into intrusive wild animals.

Weird thing is I LOVE similar songs, your Hi Ho Silver Linings, Daydream Believers, Don't Look Back In Angers. I joke about Valerie but I can stomach it for a premium. But this is the one song I WILL leave the venue and cross the street to escape. It's like a sleeper agent trigger. Even fire alarms have less urgency for me.

And look I get it, at pubs, punters want familiarity. But recently, in the midst of a string of Heatwave, Keep On Running, Tears Of A Clown... I got a "can you play something we know?" Seriously?! And even worse I knew EXACTLY what they meant!

But joke is, have you ever noticed this... NOBODY RECOGNISES THE VERSE! Well I've trained friends to, so they can warn me to evacuate. But even Verse 2 people switch off and start talking again.

This was actually the first song I ever wrote in full, April 2018, after a gig at the Albert Hall made me want to write something bombastic. It took until Spring 2023 to finalise the arrangement. All instruments by me, self-recorded apart from drums engineered by Dan Cooper.

And it closes Loading, bridging the gap between my past as a human jukebox and my future as an artist with things to say for myself. Anyway I think my next gig's in a pub somewhere!!

More CD's on the way btw, see you NEXT SUNDAY with TOM MONKS + VAT... watch this space x